Ster Kinekor Blue Route – Your Sad Place

on January 4, 2012

Have you ever been to Ster Kinekor in Blue Route? If so, you may remember that back in the day this theatre used to be home to some of the Southern Suburbs’ biggest spenders but today has become such a trash hall, it’s no wonder I barely go there.

Growing up I was always very keen on spending my birthday at a cinema. The thought of being the first kid to showcase the latest movie to my friends was always a top priority.

I recently returned to my boyhood cinema-home, Ster Kinekor Blue Route. This was where many memories had been shared amongst friends and family, and to tell you the truth it actually looked much the same as it did back then.


Popcorn is stored somewhere in the back, not so fresh then, is it?

I was horrified though to notice that Ster Kinekor’s popcorn actually sits in a plastic bag, similar to a garabage disposal bag, and is stored somewhere in the back room. At some point in time, when their little warmer is low on stock, they quickly run to the big and bring out a bag of amazingly “fresh” popcorn. I don’t quite understand this – what happened to the good old days when we used to literally spend our entire movie munching on freshly made popcorn? Not popcorn possibly stored from the previous day, or popcorn made in the morning and now being served at the 22h15 show.

But then there are the chairs. Back in 1996, these were the most comfortable seats in Africa. Yet not anymore. Now the seats are broken. They’re uncomfortable and just don’t seem to be what they used to.

Blue Route also has a well renowned reputation for their amazing sound studio in every cinema. Ster Kinekor seem to have this amazing ability to transform the hard work and extra hours put in by the movie’s sound engineers to produce some of the most ridiculous sound systems on the planet.

No, Ster Kinekor, we do not want to watch a movie with sound ONLY coming from the front underneath the screen. And no, during Mission Impossible 4 we do not want the sound levels to change every two minutes because your “amazing” sound system is so unsynchronised.

Then there’s the slush-puppie. I mean ice with a bit of syrup. So bad that once you’ve sucked up all the syrup you’ve only got a cup full of crushed ice left. That’s even if you got crushed ice in the first place, otherwise it’s just water and syrup. Nevermind, I will just stop now.

Get your act together Ster Kinekor because this is the reason we turn to downloading movies and watching it on the couch at home.

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